The end of an era

I realise I haven’t been writing for a while now. I needed to sort things in my head, it was and sometimes still is such a mess. Using tools and techniques I learned at the retreat, trying to incorporate the thinking into my daily routines, trying to keep my head above the water when I felt like sinking into an emotional spiral again, keeping close contact to the wonderful friends I made at the retreat. In short – I was busy ;-). Continue reading

The talk or What now?

Yesterday it was the day of ‘the talk’. Gosh, I was so nervous! Unbelievably nervous. I woke up at 5am, wide awake, heart racing. I tried to distract myself but it seemed impossible to get anything done. I finally resorted to doing some meditation. This helped me to calm down and by about 7am I was able to get ready for work.

The day passed slowly. Not only had he not texted yet on where and when to meet, even though he said he would do it, I didn’t do myself any favours and let my mind run wild. A good friend of mine, who I work with, took me aside and had a word ;-). Continue reading

I wanna be loved by you

So many love songs… ‘I wanna be loved by you, just you, nobody else but you’, ‘All you  need is love, da da da-da-daaa’… And so many more, this is just what literally came to my mind within a second. They all say it… LOVE.

I am in a weird mood this evening. I came home and was all of a sudden hit by a bang of loneliness. Sometimes I feel so lonely, even though my diary is full, filled with activities for each day and meet ups with friends and acquaintances to keep me occupied and my mind busy. Continue reading

What is happiness?

I spend an amazing day yesterday with the guy who is now my new friend (I call him no-third-date-guy ;-)) We get on so well, and I confess I am still hoping for more… But that’s not the topic of this blog. At the end of the day we watched the movie ‘Hector and the Search for Happiness’. If you haven’t seen it yet, go and watch it! Such a beautiful movie!

But it made me think: what makes me happy? And even though I do agree with most of the findings of the film, I am not sure if I could come up with it by myself. So let me take a few examples from the movie. Continue reading

Oops, I did it again…

It’s been a while, and I started to get worried that I got out of practice. But last week I did it again (whoop) – I went on my first date since I called a break in August!

To my relief, I was not out of practice – I must say the date went really well. Who would have thought that there are nice men around after all?! I know, I should not jinx anything yet, but only the fact that I had a lovely evening gives me hope! Continue reading

Unfit for purpose?

This week I read an article about this generation, the 30-40s, which seem to be unable to be in or hold up relationships. It made me wonder if this really is the case.

Why does it look as if there are so many single people, supposedly looking for love but seeming unable to find it? Are we looking in the wrong places? Do we not see it if it is right in front of our eyes? Continue reading

Not looking, really!

What happens when you do not spend too many hours in a week on online dating sites and apps? What happens, when you decide to take a break of meeting people that you know you will never see again, and that maybe were a waste of time (although you probably learned a lesson or two). What happens when you decide to just focus on yourself and enjoy life.

Well, I have done exactly this for the last four months, and trust me – it was needed. Continue reading

Universe, listen…!

‘The universe will sort it!’ – Have you ever been told this?

My friend Sue keeps saying this to me, usually when I moan again that I do not meet the right man or no man or anything else does not work out the way I was hoping to. Then she says, in all seriousness, that I would not do it the correct way. I would have to visualise whatever I want, I would have to say it out loud, and then just send it off. To the universe. As simple as that… Ha ha!

It makes me laugh every time. And as much as I would love to believe in this, I just don’t. I can’t. Don’t get me wrong, I try to pretend I do, to maybe trick the universe as I don’t want to upset it and hence ignore my requests, but really…?! Continue reading

I need a break

I am back from holidays. What a great time I had, no worries, enjoying every day, no thought wasted on men. Really! I do love those holidays, which ground you again and make you realise what is important in life and what is just added weight.

My resolution: I will not go on any dates in August, I need a break! I need to revisit my approach on how to find Mr Right, and most importantly I need to relax again. My search in the last months has caused too much distress and upset, wasted tears and energy. I do not want to and cannot go on like this. I know, this sounds rather serious, but I mean it. Fingers crossed I will be able to stick to it. There must be a fun way of dating. I remember it being fun and exciting not too long ago. Is there such a thing as ‘date surfeit’? Continue reading