Unfit for purpose?

This week I read an article about this generation, the 30-40s, which seem to be unable to be in or hold up relationships. It made me wonder if this really is the case.

Why does it look as if there are so many single people, supposedly looking for love but seeming unable to find it? Are we looking in the wrong places? Do we not see it if it is right in front of our eyes? I think that’s one of the reasons. It seems that nowadays (I know, that makes me sound like my gran) we are never happy with what we have. Say we meet a really nice guy, he is funny, smart, a great person to be around but looks average, would we settle for him or hope, that we will find a funny, smart, great person to be around and good looking? Be honest with yourself, and feel free to swap the attributes around. Isn’t it sad, that we are never content with what we have but always bet on something/ someone better waiting just around the corner. We just have to walk on. Alone…

Or are we too independent, and believe that compromising is ‘giving in’ or even worse, ‘giving up’ some of ourselves? We grew up learning that we should always strive for what we want, work for it, and we will get it. To a certain extend, doesn’t that make us selfish. Is this 30-40s generation unable to adapt and maybe adjust? Couldn’t ‘adjusting’ be for their own good? I feel that ‘adjusting’ means learning different and new things, seeing new perspectives – all of which makes life more colourful and rich. Shouldn’t we want to meet as many new people, to be thrown into as many strange situations as possible, to grow with it? Isn’t that what makes us ‘wiser’ with age?

If a tricky situation hits us, are we giving up too early? Are we abandoning perfectly fine relationships only because of a disagreement? Did we not learn to ‘battle it out’ and walk through it, only to come out at the other end as a stronger couple? Have we not learned to argue and discuss, and to reflect? We do that all the time in our professional lives, but as soon as it comes to our personal life and feelings, we feel paralysed. We don’t like to talk about emotions. I am one of these people who is not afraid of expressing how I feel, and it makes even my closer friends uncomfortable. That’s terrible! How did we get there, when I can’t even say how I feel, or how a situation makes me feel?

Are we too afraid? We always go for and mostly get what we want. We have plan, everything is mapped out. It is probably terrifying if it doesn’t work out, and we are trapped in our own little fantasy world.

So what’s the solution? Be open minded. Be the best person you can be. Be fun and expect the unexpected. Express yourself. Make friends with those you would have discarded on the first glance. Don’t stop learning and be curious. Curious with people and life. And have fun. If you don’t have fun, what’s the whole point. And who wants to be with a miserable person? So maybe that’s the solution: bring fund and joy back into your life and everything else will fall into place.

What do you think? Easy, right…? 😉


5 thoughts on “Unfit for purpose?

  1. I was contacted by a gentleman thay I saw earlier this year that I dismissed. I say he had a lot of children and it was too much for me at that time. I have done some soul searching, and when he messaged me again, I agreed to another date. He was really great and we had a good connection. It was the fact that he has 6 biological, and 3 adopted children. It worried me. So we go to dinner again tonight, maybe that connection is still there. If it is, I’m not looking around the corner for someone better.

    Liked by 1 person

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