Hyperactive mind

Only one day has passed since ‘the talk’ was arranged, two more to go. And I am telling you, today felt twice as long as any other normal day… I have replayed a thousand times every word that was said, every gesture and move that was made. I analysed every syllable and double checked its meaning with my friends. Continue reading

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Calm down, girl or Onwards and upwards

These have been a few emotional weeks, or rather months. I am exhausted. After a proper and painful meltdown this week I decided that this is not me, I am not this person who is giving in and wallowing in pain and heartache, sitting at home breaking down in tears, feeling sorry for myself. I can’t keep doing this to myself, I cannot let someone make me do this to myself, even if that person doesn’t have a clue what’s going on behind the scenes. 😉 I am (*must repeat it over and over again*) a strong woman, who confronts issues head-on and who does not give up. Continue reading

Enough is enough

When is enough ‘enough’? How much can we take until we break down, until we give up, until we give in, until we say ‘whatever, but make it stop’?

I often wonder whether I endure too much pain and heartache until I let go. And also, is it really worth it? Is anyone or anything worth it that you go through such a low and painful period? Is it worth it loosing so much of yourself in the process that your healing or recuperation time takes forever until you feel normal and yourself again? Continue reading

Unfit for purpose?

This week I read an article about this generation, the 30-40s, which seem to be unable to be in or hold up relationships. It made me wonder if this really is the case.

Why does it look as if there are so many single people, supposedly looking for love but seeming unable to find it? Are we looking in the wrong places? Do we not see it if it is right in front of our eyes? Continue reading

Keeping an open mind

I have always prided myself in being a strong woman, who can look out for herself. Since I was young I had to work hard for the things I wanted. My parents always supported me, of course, but I cannot remember many instances when I had a ‘free ride’. I grew up to be an independent person.

Which is a good attribute. But, at the moment I have had enough of being strong all the time. Strong for my family, strong for my friends, strong in my job. I am longing for someone or some people to look out for me for a change. Maybe that is one of the reasons why I (desperately?) look for Mr Right?

I went to an event yesterday. It was one of these advice workshops, with about 500 women attending. Continue reading

Not just a pretty face

I am a good looking woman, successful in my job, I love a nice glass of champagne and I also love a good pint of beer. What really bothers me with all these online dating websites and applications: guys only see a gorgeous women, but do not expect much else.

But, I have so much more to offer than just a pretty face! Usually men are surprised when they hear that I like a good pint of beer. Continue reading

Reminiscense or birthday jitters

It is my birthday next week and I started looking back on the last year. I’ve been through quite a turmoil of emotions. Gosh, this sounds dramatic, I know. And I am hoping I am not the only one doing this – reminiscing -, it makes me sound like an old woman looking back on her life… ha ha. It is nothing that serious, I promise. Being on my own and trying to stand my ground in this big city does that to me.

But I did think about the issues of the heart, my family and my friends. The biggest issue for me is, that I have lost my best friend. Continue reading