The Man Child

Sooner or later it had to happen: I had to go back into the dating pond. Or to be more precise: the rough and stormy waters of the dating sea. Murky waters. With beasts hiding and attacking your feet as soon as you walk in…

I started ‘going back to it’ sometime towards the end of the strict COVID-19 lockdown in May, and since chatted and texted to quite a few guys. And I don’t know if it is because of the reduced social contact or the diminishing social competence – my goodness, I can only shake my head about some ‘encounters’. I want to share the joy with you, so here are a few examples:

  • The guy who was happy to move to phone calls after about two weeks of messaging via the app and WhatsApp. Two minutes into our phone call he asked me if I wanted to get married and have children. When I said yes he asked me if everything is still working down there to make that happen, as I am rather old for a woman already. #justchecking
  • The guy who wanted to have deep and meaningful conversations. One of the first guys I spoke to in the midst of lockdown. We started talking on the phone and after about two weeks he was sick of normal conversation and told me I had to share some deeply personal stories. When I told him I wouldn’t do that, that I didn’t even know if we would get on when we meet and that for now lighthearted conversation would be better, he got so annoyed that his usual sophisticated chat turned to swearing and profanities. Showed his true colours inadvertently. #foundout
  • The guy who sulked. I actually went on four dates with him, he was the person I had my post-lockdown-first-pub-outing with. On paper (excuse me for using this phrase ha ha) he ‘had his shit together’. When I looked closer though, it turned out he was a big show-off and wanted things to go his way. So when I told him I would go and play my first ever 18-holes round of golf and didn’t invite him along he sulked. For a week. Until I called him out and he admitted it. Then I invited him along after all and he made the whole day about him, so still managed to ruin it. And afterwards I did not hear from him again. #crymeariver
  • The guy who wanted me to bring homemade cake. It started off with fun and banter chat on the app when I told him I had baked a cake that day. he wanted to meet that same evening, but err… sorry, I was busy and would not jump only because he is snipping his fingers. For the next few days he kept asking ‘when are we meeting’ without even making any other conversation or suggesting a date/place. When I offered dates and said I couldn’t do others he would only respond ‘jumping from date to date, are you?’. Even a winky smiley face does not soften that rubbish remark. And when we finally half agreed on a day and I said I could only meet at a certain time during the day because I am working he was annoyed and unmatched me. #nochatandtonsofexpecations

Men, seriously, what are you thinking? Are you thinking? Are you considering what you are bringing to the table? What happened to your ability to have a conversation, including a bit of flirting and charming chat? It really is quite shocking and rather extraordinary.

I don’t mind keeping some weird habits and a child’s attitude and excitement at times. We don’t have to grow up completely, because life shouldn’t be all save and serious. But my some basic principles should be part of your repertoire, considering we are now in our late 30s/ mid 40s. Anything else just makes you an arsehole and inconsiderate man child.

Still, I am hoping for the best and will keep persevering. Because I know #notallmen. He must be out there, please show yourself rather sooner than later! 😉


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