I have always prided myself in being a strong woman, who can look out for herself. Since I was young I had to work hard for the things I wanted. My parents always supported me, of course, but I cannot remember many instances when I had a ‘free ride’. I grew up to be an independent person.
Which is a good attribute. But, at the moment I have had enough of being strong all the time. Strong for my family, strong for my friends, strong in my job. I am longing for someone or some people to look out for me for a change. Maybe that is one of the reasons why I (desperately?) look for Mr Right?
I went to an event yesterday. It was one of these advice workshops, with about 500 women attending. I did not book this for myself. A friend of mine asked me to go with her, under the premise to keep an open mind. I can do that, I thought. But I have to admit, I was more than sceptical. I am not a great fan of groups of desperate and miserable women, whining about their sad lives. I am a doer, I firmly believe that you hold your destiny in your hands. That’s why I do not really believe in these sessions, where women seem brainwashed when leaving.
Oh how wrong I was. Firstly, it was not at all a room full of miserable women. There were women from all walks of life, all ages, with such a variety of stories and ‘issues’. And no one had ‘issues’ you need to pity them for. They were women like me. The first massive surprise of the day. The second surprise: no brainwashing at all. It was more an analytical look at behavioural patterns, and why it may lead to certain situations. You could apply it to any sort of problem you are dealing with. So it was not purely ‘do this and the guy will love you’. It rather focused on staying true to yourself, because after all that’s who you are and that’s who anyone should love. And they showed, that dating is fun, and many ways how to make it joyful and playful again. Halleluja!
Leaving the event I felt relieved, that a) it is not only me feeling the pressure and b) that there is a way out of this trap of all sorts of commitments and mixed feelings. You may say, that this was a very clever way of brainwashing. I would counter, it rather stimulates your way of thinking and encourages you to find a way which suits you and your situation best. Sometimes you cannot find your way because it seems a maze, so one gentle nudge will help massively.
So, I will try to work on myself. For me (sorry for this simple goal), to make it easier and more fun again to meet men. So please, have your fingers crossed for me! I shall report back on my success and failure stories, promise.
PS: And is this the right time to confess to you, that I went back to online dating two days ago and already ‘met’ another weirdo? Luckily it was rude and inappropriate texts only, so I simply deleted his profile. I am a strong and sometimes tough woman after all ;-).