Unexpected turn of events

The story with friend guy continues, even though I am not sure for how much longer. If you haven’t read my previous posts, just to recap: we met in November, went on two dates and then he told me, that he wasn’t into dating right now but would like to stay friends. Since then we went out quite a number of times, spent time at each other’s places, cooked dinners and always had a fabulous time. I genuinely enjoy his company, and I think he enjoys mine.

So it was a natural decision to ask him to be my +1 at a friend’s wedding, which took place the last weekend. Continue reading

Calm down, girl or Onwards and upwards

These have been a few emotional weeks, or rather months. I am exhausted. After a proper and painful meltdown this week I decided that this is not me, I am not this person who is giving in and wallowing in pain and heartache, sitting at home breaking down in tears, feeling sorry for myself. I can’t keep doing this to myself, I cannot let someone make me do this to myself, even if that person doesn’t have a clue what’s going on behind the scenes. 😉 I am (*must repeat it over and over again*) a strong woman, who confronts issues head-on and who does not give up. Continue reading

Enough is enough

When is enough ‘enough’? How much can we take until we break down, until we give up, until we give in, until we say ‘whatever, but make it stop’?

I often wonder whether I endure too much pain and heartache until I let go. And also, is it really worth it? Is anyone or anything worth it that you go through such a low and painful period? Is it worth it loosing so much of yourself in the process that your healing or recuperation time takes forever until you feel normal and yourself again? Continue reading

Rollercoaster

Where should I start? The past few weeks my heart and mind went through a rollercoaster of epic proportions. At the moment the cart is racing downhill, so apologies if I sound a bit gloomy.

You remember the guy I met who only wanted to be friends? He is a great guy, we met quite a few time since then and every time we have the best time. We get on remarkably well, do lots of interesting stuff together and really enjoy each other’s company. Continue reading

From date to friend

Once in a while it happens that I go on a date and think ‘I don’t fancy that guy, but I’d really like to be friends with him’. I may have suggested it once or twice, but nothing ever came out of it. Did they think ‘What the hell, this is not what I signed up for’ or ‘If I can’t date you, you won’t have anything of me’ or anything like it? It’s hurt speaking, or pride, and I don’t judge them for it, it is a natural reaction I guess. So I am wondering: is it possible to be friends with someone you first met with romantic intentions? Continue reading

Not looking, really!

What happens when you do not spend too many hours in a week on online dating sites and apps? What happens, when you decide to take a break of meeting people that you know you will never see again, and that maybe were a waste of time (although you probably learned a lesson or two). What happens when you decide to just focus on yourself and enjoy life.

Well, I have done exactly this for the last four months, and trust me – it was needed. Continue reading

Universe, listen…!

‘The universe will sort it!’ – Have you ever been told this?

My friend Sue keeps saying this to me, usually when I moan again that I do not meet the right man or no man or anything else does not work out the way I was hoping to. Then she says, in all seriousness, that I would not do it the correct way. I would have to visualise whatever I want, I would have to say it out loud, and then just send it off. To the universe. As simple as that… Ha ha!

It makes me laugh every time. And as much as I would love to believe in this, I just don’t. I can’t. Don’t get me wrong, I try to pretend I do, to maybe trick the universe as I don’t want to upset it and hence ignore my requests, but really…?! Continue reading

Reminiscense or birthday jitters

It is my birthday next week and I started looking back on the last year. I’ve been through quite a turmoil of emotions. Gosh, this sounds dramatic, I know. And I am hoping I am not the only one doing this – reminiscing -, it makes me sound like an old woman looking back on her life… ha ha. It is nothing that serious, I promise. Being on my own and trying to stand my ground in this big city does that to me.

But I did think about the issues of the heart, my family and my friends. The biggest issue for me is, that I have lost my best friend. Continue reading