From date to friend

Once in a while it happens that I go on a date and think ‘I don’t fancy that guy, but I’d really like to be friends with him’. I may have suggested it once or twice, but nothing ever came out of it. Did they think ‘What the hell, this is not what I signed up for’ or ‘If I can’t date you, you won’t have anything of me’ or anything like it? It’s hurt speaking, or pride, and I don’t judge them for it, it is a natural reaction I guess. So I am wondering: is it possible to be friends with someone you first met with romantic intentions?

So far it were the guys who had to take the blow of ‘no to romance, but yes to friendship’. But now it happened the other way around. I told you about the guy that didn’t want to go on a third date, but offered to go out as friends. I was hesitant, mainly because I wasn’t sure how I could handle it considering I obviously still fancied him. But then I thought, it would be equally amazing to make a new friend. After all, we got on like a house on fire.

So we met. Last Sunday.  We went to the pub in the early afternoon, just to catch up ‘as friends’ after Christmas and New Years. What can I say, I am glad I didn’t delete his contact details but gave this aspiring friendship a chance because we just had the best afternoon! I still have a tiny bit of hope that he realises that actually I am a great girl and changes his mind, but am happy with the current status quo. I found another fun person to hang out with, to go to the theatre with (yes, he likes it and explicitly said to give him a shout if I’d like to go to a show), to meet for lunch because we work close-by, to talk rubbish and laugh with. He didn’t mind dancing with me in the pub because the band playing was good. He made sure I texted him when I got home (which was around midnight) so it’s comforting to know that he cares about me. He also texted that ‘he’d always look out for me’ – how wonderful, I felt a little special.

Isn’t this the kind of friend you would want? Everyone needs. I cannot say that all of my friends act like that. Some do, some don’t, hence my painful ‘clear-out’ last year. My conclusion is, if you come across an opportunity to include an amazing person in your life, in whatever style or with whatever label – do it! It will make you richer, widens your horizon, and after all, he may have just as nice friends with all kinds of potentials! 😉

Go and make friends, folks!


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