I realise I haven’t posted anything for quite a while. I was looking for inspiration. Just now, at 2am, I felt the urge to write at least a short note…
I’ve been thinking a lot about my age lately, where I stand in life right now, where this is compared to how I envisaged my life to be – and one thought keeps coming to my mind: What the hell happened? Continue reading
If you have an Apple device you are well aware of the regular updates you have to run to ensure that your phone or tablet continues to run smoothly. The performance of apps improves with every update, ideally. So, even though you may be annoyed that something doesn’t work 100%, with the next update it is sorted and you do not waste a thought on how less good it performed before the update. Update – new version – sorted. So why is it that we beat ourselves up for actions from months or years ago? Continue reading
I realise I haven’t been writing for a while now. I needed to sort things in my head, it was and sometimes still is such a mess. Using tools and techniques I learned at the retreat, trying to incorporate the thinking into my daily routines, trying to keep my head above the water when I felt like sinking into an emotional spiral again, keeping close contact to the wonderful friends I made at the retreat. In short – I was busy ;-). Continue reading
The story with friend guy continues, even though I am not sure for how much longer. If you haven’t read my previous posts, just to recap: we met in November, went on two dates and then he told me, that he wasn’t into dating right now but would like to stay friends. Since then we went out quite a number of times, spent time at each other’s places, cooked dinners and always had a fabulous time. I genuinely enjoy his company, and I think he enjoys mine.
So it was a natural decision to ask him to be my +1 at a friend’s wedding, which took place the last weekend. Continue reading
These have been a few emotional weeks, or rather months. I am exhausted. After a proper and painful meltdown this week I decided that this is not me, I am not this person who is giving in and wallowing in pain and heartache, sitting at home breaking down in tears, feeling sorry for myself. I can’t keep doing this to myself, I cannot let someone make me do this to myself, even if that person doesn’t have a clue what’s going on behind the scenes. 😉 I am (*must repeat it over and over again*) a strong woman, who confronts issues head-on and who does not give up. Continue reading
When is enough ‘enough’? How much can we take until we break down, until we give up, until we give in, until we say ‘whatever, but make it stop’?
I often wonder whether I endure too much pain and heartache until I let go. And also, is it really worth it? Is anyone or anything worth it that you go through such a low and painful period? Is it worth it loosing so much of yourself in the process that your healing or recuperation time takes forever until you feel normal and yourself again? Continue reading
Once in a while it hits you: Dating is a bitch (excuse my language). It’s a tough game, you won’t like some of the outcomes and despair some of the ‘side effects’. One of the side effects for me is self-doubt.
I promise, I do try very hard to not let it get to me, but sometimes its just inevitable. And it’s triggered by the simplest moments. Continue reading
Once in a while it happens that I go on a date and think ‘I don’t fancy that guy, but I’d really like to be friends with him’. I may have suggested it once or twice, but nothing ever came out of it. Did they think ‘What the hell, this is not what I signed up for’ or ‘If I can’t date you, you won’t have anything of me’ or anything like it? It’s hurt speaking, or pride, and I don’t judge them for it, it is a natural reaction I guess. So I am wondering: is it possible to be friends with someone you first met with romantic intentions? Continue reading
This week I read an article about this generation, the 30-40s, which seem to be unable to be in or hold up relationships. It made me wonder if this really is the case.
Why does it look as if there are so many single people, supposedly looking for love but seeming unable to find it? Are we looking in the wrong places? Do we not see it if it is right in front of our eyes? Continue reading
What happens when you do not spend too many hours in a week on online dating sites and apps? What happens, when you decide to take a break of meeting people that you know you will never see again, and that maybe were a waste of time (although you probably learned a lesson or two). What happens when you decide to just focus on yourself and enjoy life.
Well, I have done exactly this for the last four months, and trust me – it was needed. Continue reading
My Search for Mr Right 