For two years now I have had some things going on in my life that are hard. That could throw the strongest person off-course at some point. That could break me. That could consume me. I am still standing.

I have been trying to put it into words into a blog post to share with you all, but it is hard. I seem to be lost for words (for once) when it comes to this thing.

In spring this year I organised a poetry competition at work, and submitted my own poem, trying to describe the thing. It climbed to 4th place, which I am absolutely chuffed about. I want to share the poem with you. Maybe that’s the beginning of my story of this thing, maybe this will set free the words that I have been searching for.

It all happens for a reason

Carefree,
Joy, who needs to worry.
Places to be seen, stamps
To be collected in my passport.
Career, yes please.

Heartache, perseverance,
Broken heart and teas.
What are the odds for wishes to come true,
Yearning, longing.
More fish in the pond, plenty of time.

Realisation hits, there is no time.
Mad scrambling, lots to worry about.
Passport in the cupboard.
Instead loyalty stamps collection for clinic visits.,
Disappointment, despair.
Advice. Well-meaning words. Hurtful words.
Everything happens for a reason.
You are glad you never had to explore your reason.

Don’t speak. Don’t assume.
Exploring, evaluation, finding sense and purpose.
Focusing and not forgetting to feel.
Joy. Places to be seen.
Experiences to be had.

Not everything happens for a reason.