Today’s dating business is a messy business. Those who go out there to find a partner meet those who are out there to just have some fun. Both are legitimate reasons to go on dates, but in real life you would spot the differences quite quickly and decide if you want to get into this.
Nowadays though, when you meet people over apps or websites they can and will tell you just about anything. You may believe what you want, some are goodhearted and trusting, some very careful or even cynical. And then you meet, if you figure out straight away that you are not on the same page you are a lucky one.
I know, you may say that it always works like that. What I am trying to get tothough is communication. At a certain point, let’s say when you are in your thirties one should be grown up enough to say what they are after. May it be fun or something serious, or even ‘let’s go and see where it leads to’. But to not reveal your intentions is misleading. What happened to being honest? What about doing the decent thing? To not string people along, play along? I believe that part of the problem is communication switched from face-to-face interaction to text messages. are we losing our social instincts? How easy is it to misinterpret a text message? We all know the times when we tried to read something in a four word message that just wasn’t there? People are being so lazy now… Would you grunt a four letter sentence to someone you are actually talking to? No, that would be rude. So why do we think this is acceptable by text? Also, why can we not change to e.g. a phone conversation? Is it one of those ‘rules’ that phone calls are not an option?
Speaking about rules. I am a woman who does not follow ‘the rules’, I don’t care about the rules and I would always follow my heart, to the very end. Sometimes my friends dispair, they provide rulebook advice and I appreciate that. But ultimately, I always trust my instincts (as messed up as it may seem), at least it doesn’t make me regret anything and I can only blame myself. 😉
My plea to all the men (and women) out there: Communicate! Have the balls to say what you are looking for. Have the balls to say if your direction of travel has changed. It happens, this is life, no big deal. What is a big deal is to keep the other person in the dark about it. We are no mind readers, and shouldn’t make second guessing the norm. It is damaging and usually wrong.
Also, how about ditching those apps and all the bad behaviour it enabled and return to real life interaction. Don’t stand in a bar, not talking to anybody, going home gutted that you haven’t met anyone and open your app swiping left/right. That’s ridiculous and pathetic. We are the most connected and also the most lonely generation, isn’t this paradox?
Let’s all be brave again, speak up, and have fun meeting people and potential dates. Let’s go out in the real world and trust our instincts again.
And last but not least, don’t play games. It only ends in heartbreak, and no one can be so cruel to not care about this.