I realise I haven’t been writing for a while now. I needed to sort things in my head, it was and sometimes still is such a mess. Using tools and techniques I learned at the retreat, trying to incorporate the thinking into my daily routines, trying to keep my head above the water when I felt like sinking into an emotional spiral again, keeping close contact to the wonderful friends I made at the retreat. In short – I was busy ;-). Continue reading
I have hinted at it before. Last week I went on a retreat. You may call it Personal Development or Life Coaching or whatever you feel like. To me it was a lifeline and a little life saver. You probably had noticed that I was all over the place, in my head and my heart, not knowing anymore what to believe, if I should listen to my gut instinct or to friends or anyone else who is just too willing to dish out advice. It effected everything in my life: my job, my relationship with my family, my struggle to find Mr Right and some friendships.
A workshop in September last year gave me the idea. Continue reading
This morning I found a quote I quite liked. You know how much I love a good quote. 🙂
I posted it on Twitter and received quite a few different comments. So I put it out there during lunch break with a few colleagues. It sparked an interesting discussion, which made me think about where I stand on this issue (I do admit, I think about too many issues like that). Am I really a strong single woman, who just doesn’t want to give in and live in a mediocre relationship, or am I too picky (oh, how I loathe this statement), or am I wandering around without a specific aim, or am I just unlucky? Continue reading
I am currently trying to make sense of all the thoughts that are racing through my mind. I hear my friends saying ‘Get a grip, it’s not the end of the world’ or ‘Forget about him, you’ll meet someone who appreciates you.’ and so on and so on. All very encouraging messages.
But there is one flaw in it. My heart got broken. Again. And yes, I do realise that Continue reading
Yesterday it was the day of ‘the talk’. Gosh, I was so nervous! Unbelievably nervous. I woke up at 5am, wide awake, heart racing. I tried to distract myself but it seemed impossible to get anything done. I finally resorted to doing some meditation. This helped me to calm down and by about 7am I was able to get ready for work.
The day passed slowly. Not only had he not texted yet on where and when to meet, even though he said he would do it, I didn’t do myself any favours and let my mind run wild. A good friend of mine, who I work with, took me aside and had a word ;-). Continue reading
Only one day has passed since ‘the talk’ was arranged, two more to go. And I am telling you, today felt twice as long as any other normal day… I have replayed a thousand times every word that was said, every gesture and move that was made. I analysed every syllable and double checked its meaning with my friends. Continue reading
The story with friend guy continues, even though I am not sure for how much longer. If you haven’t read my previous posts, just to recap: we met in November, went on two dates and then he told me, that he wasn’t into dating right now but would like to stay friends. Since then we went out quite a number of times, spent time at each other’s places, cooked dinners and always had a fabulous time. I genuinely enjoy his company, and I think he enjoys mine.
So it was a natural decision to ask him to be my +1 at a friend’s wedding, which took place the last weekend. Continue reading
So many love songs… ‘I wanna be loved by you, just you, nobody else but you’, ‘All you need is love, da da da-da-daaa’… And so many more, this is just what literally came to my mind within a second. They all say it… LOVE.
I am in a weird mood this evening. I came home and was all of a sudden hit by a bang of loneliness. Sometimes I feel so lonely, even though my diary is full, filled with activities for each day and meet ups with friends and acquaintances to keep me occupied and my mind busy. Continue reading
These have been a few emotional weeks, or rather months. I am exhausted. After a proper and painful meltdown this week I decided that this is not me, I am not this person who is giving in and wallowing in pain and heartache, sitting at home breaking down in tears, feeling sorry for myself. I can’t keep doing this to myself, I cannot let someone make me do this to myself, even if that person doesn’t have a clue what’s going on behind the scenes. 😉 I am (*must repeat it over and over again*) a strong woman, who confronts issues head-on and who does not give up. Continue reading
When is enough ‘enough’? How much can we take until we break down, until we give up, until we give in, until we say ‘whatever, but make it stop’?
I often wonder whether I endure too much pain and heartache until I let go. And also, is it really worth it? Is anyone or anything worth it that you go through such a low and painful period? Is it worth it loosing so much of yourself in the process that your healing or recuperation time takes forever until you feel normal and yourself again? Continue reading