Anna, reloaded

I have hinted at it before. Last week I went on a retreat. You may call it Personal Development or Life Coaching or whatever you feel like. To me it was a lifeline and a little life saver. You probably had noticed that I was all over the place, in my head and my heart, not knowing anymore what to believe, if I should listen to my gut instinct or to friends or anyone else who is just too willing to dish out advice. It effected everything in my life: my job, my relationship with my family, my struggle to find Mr Right and some friendships.

A workshop in September last year gave me the idea. Continue reading

Disney prince or Compromise

This morning I found¬†a quote I quite liked. You know how much I love a good quote. ūüôā

I posted it on Twitter and received quite a few different comments. So I put it out there during lunch break with a few colleagues. It sparked an interesting discussion, which made me think about where¬†I stand on this issue¬†(I do admit, I think about too many issues like that). Am I really a strong single woman, who just doesn’t want to give in and live in a mediocre relationship, or am I too picky (oh, how I loathe this statement), or am I wandering around without a specific aim, or am I just unlucky? Continue reading

Reassessing

I am currently trying to make sense of all the thoughts that are racing through my mind. I hear my friends saying ‘Get a grip, it’s not the end of the world’ or ‘Forget about him, you’ll meet someone who appreciates you.’ and so on and so on. All very encouraging messages.

But there is one flaw in it. My heart got broken. Again. And yes, I do realise that Continue reading

The talk or What now?

Yesterday it was the day of ‘the talk’. Gosh, I was so nervous! Unbelievably nervous.¬†I woke up at 5am, wide awake, heart racing. I tried to distract myself but it seemed impossible to get anything done. I finally resorted to doing some meditation. This helped me to calm down and by about 7am I was able to get ready for work.

The day passed slowly. Not only had he not texted yet on where and when to meet, even though he said he would do it, I didn’t do myself any favours and let my mind run wild. A good friend of mine, who I work with, took me aside and had a word ;-). Continue reading

Unexpected turn of events

The story with friend guy continues, even though I am not sure for how much longer. If you haven’t read my previous posts, just to recap: we met in November, went on two dates and then he told me, that he wasn’t into dating right now but would like to stay friends. Since then we went out quite a number of times, spent time at each other’s places, cooked dinners and always had a fabulous time. I genuinely enjoy his company, and I think he enjoys mine.

So it was a natural decision to ask him to be my +1 at a friend’s wedding, which took place the last weekend. Continue reading

I wanna be loved by you

So many love songs… ‘I wanna be loved by you, just you, nobody else but you’, ‘All you¬† need is love, da da da-da-daaa’… And so many more, this is just what literally came to my mind within a second. They all say it… LOVE.

I am in a weird mood this evening. I came home and was all of a sudden hit by a bang of loneliness. Sometimes I feel so lonely, even though my diary is full, filled with activities for each day and meet ups with friends and acquaintances to keep me occupied and my mind busy. Continue reading

Calm down, girl or Onwards and upwards

These have been a few emotional weeks, or rather months. I am exhausted. After a proper and painful meltdown this week I decided that this is not me, I am not this person who is giving in and wallowing in pain and heartache, sitting at home breaking down in tears, feeling sorry for myself. I can’t keep doing this to myself, I cannot let someone make¬†me do this to myself, even if that person doesn’t have a clue what’s going on behind the scenes.¬†ūüėȬ†I am (*must repeat it over and over again*) a strong woman, who confronts issues head-on and who does not give up. Continue reading

Enough is enough

When is enough ‘enough’? How much can we take until we break down, until we give up, until we give in, until we say ‘whatever, but make it stop’?

I often wonder whether I endure too much pain and heartache until I let go. And also, is it really worth it? Is anyone or anything worth it that you go through such a low and painful period? Is it worth it loosing so much of yourself in the process that your healing or recuperation time takes forever until you feel normal and yourself again? Continue reading

Rollercoaster

Where should I start? The past few weeks my heart and mind went through a rollercoaster of epic proportions. At the moment the cart is racing downhill, so apologies if I sound a bit gloomy.

You remember the guy I met who only wanted to be friends? He is a great guy, we met quite a few time since then and every time we have the best time. We get on remarkably well, do lots of interesting stuff together and really enjoy each other’s company. Continue reading