I am currently trying to make sense of all the thoughts that are racing through my mind. I hear my friends saying ‘Get a grip, it’s not the end of the world’ or ‘Forget about him, you’ll meet someone who appreciates you.’ and so on and so on. All very encouraging messages.

But there is one flaw in it. My heart got broken. Again. And yes, I do realise that we didn’t even go out ‘properly’, but does the rejection make it any less hurtful? Should I not be effected by it, am I not granted to be upset about it? Why does it seem so much less important to mourn about ‘what could have been’? Only because I haven’t lived with this guy for a year, and dated him for months and months?

In the past year or so I keep wondering what will happen to me. I am nearly 40 years old, I want a family and children, and I am well aware that time is running out. So yes, it crosses my mind why once again someone didn’t like me enough, once again I offered my heart and it was pushed away. Where is the sense in that? Am I not good enough?

If you like someone and something happens to your relationship and it turns to the worse, it is natural that feelings of hurt, rejection and even loss boil up. You mourn and try to re-align your life, filling the void and making sense of it. So no matter whether you lose a family member, a friend or hope of a relationship with a special person, your mind has to reassess and refocus.

So grant yourself the time you need. But don’t get swallowed up by self pity; look forward and find happiness somewhere else, with someone else. Trust that the void will be filled, and that all happens for a reason (and always turns to the better).

And please, don’t listen to the people who tell you to ‘suck it up’ or ‘get a grip’. It’s your feelings, it’s your heart – so don’t ignore it, it is always important! Always!

PS: Don’t worry, I will go on other dates, I will keep searching for my Mr Right. What I don’t like though is being told to harden up. That’s what builds walls around our heart and makes falling in love even more difficult.


2 thoughts on “Reassessing

  1. You are so right. I’ve found myself hardening up without realising it, getting a bit cynical. I wonder too what it is about me that means I’m not quite right, and I have to not think too hard about it. Hope and optimism usually bubble up after a while, I find, so I think there’s hope for my heart yet. Looking forward to reading backwards through your blog now! Or skipping right back and going forwards…something like that 😄

    Liked by 1 person

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