It’s now been nearly two months that someone calls me his girlfriend, that I have a boyfriend. And you won’t believe it, I am still getting used to it. I have been waiting for this for so long, now I seem to struggle to comprehend it.
‘Go with the flow and enjoy it’ they say. My head knows that this is the sensible thing to do. That otherwise I may spoil it for myself and for him. But let me tell you, my heart and my belly are all over the place. Eek! When we see each other I am on cloud 9, and he doesn’t give me any indication that I should doubt this relationship we re building right now. But I can’t help it but remember back a few months, a year, a couple of years and even longer to when guys messed me around. To when a shorter message didn’t mean that they are busy but that interest and enthusiasm is waning. That a longer gap of contact during the day will result in no message at all and a slow and painful fading out.
He doesn’t do any of that! Don’t even think that, please! He replies, texts back as soon as he can, does not leave me on blue ticks/ message read without a response. He checks in often and calls in the evenings. He shows affection, lots of it (which I love) and makes my heart jump when he looks at me in this mischievous way. We make plans for the next weeks and even months. So all the doubting is going on in my head only, and I am struggling to stop it and inevitably am annoying my friends with my self-doubts.
So if you have any tips on how to stop that evil little voice in my head please let me know. Because the times I can shut down this voice I am happy, really very happy. Butterflies and weak knees. He makes me smile so many times a day and I hope I do the same to him. I am in the process of offering him my heart and I know he will take care of it.
To the little monkey mind: Please, just shut up! Then I will go with the flow and enjoy it.